My heart hurts.

I used to have a fear of letting people into my life because I knew eventually they'd all just go away and leave me with the broken pieces. And then I would have to pick myself up and brush myself off as if nothing was wrong, but that's not the truth. Something is wrong. I want to go back to the days when I would go to bed with a huge smile on my face. I want to wake up to long goodnight texts that made me cry. I know I sound needy and desperate but I'm not. I just need some reassurance, and truthfully, it's been so long since I had any. I used to know that I meant the world to you, and that whenever I had a problem, I could turn to you, but not anymore. You're here, but hardly. I think you'd leave, but you're too scared of breaking my heart. Well I hate to break it to you, but my heart is already breaking. And you are the cause.