How it is.

Do you ever mess up, but not want to blame yourself? So instead you look for anyone else to blame: that's me. All of the time. I blame others and never accept what's wrong with myself. I cause my own problems. I push people away and cause them to not like me. I become a different person. It's almost as if I never do anything wrong in my eyes. I'm always a saint, and no one can ever compare or live up to my expectations. But that's not true, because even I don't live up to my expectations, so I don't know why I'd ever think anyone else would. Why even try? Because I'll push you away no matter what. It's how I am. I can't let anyone in too close. I'm too scared it getting hurt.